How you know you are a BAD diver

There are 2 meanings to the word "BAD", but this post is refering to the meaning of not good. So, how do you know you are a bad diver?

1. Your dive gear is in the garage until the day before you leave for your annual dive trip to Mexico.

2. The last time you took your mask off underwater was in your open water class.

3. You have a compass on your console but have no idea how to use it.

4. You refer to decompression time as bars in the green, yellow and red.

5. You know the phone number to Leisure Pro by heart but you don't know where the local dive shop is.

6. You think a 3min safety stop at 15ft is a magical cure for decompression sickness.

7. You have no idea what I am talking about in line 6.

8. The last words you say to your dive buddy just prior to jumping of the boat are "Hi, my name is Joe."

9. You wonder why the visibility in front of you is over 100ft but the vis behind you is a swirling sand storm.

10. Other divers in the group are watching you instead of the fish.

11. You surface every ten minutes just to get your bearings.

12. You feel anything under 65ft vis is limited.

13. You believe PADI when they tell you you're an advanced diver when you were just certified three weeks ago.

14. You think NITROX is a gas used by your dentist.

15. You get online to find the speed rating of your new split fins.

16. You can't swim from one side of the pool to the other without resorting to the doggy paddle.

17. You would cancel a dive for the sole reason of forgetting your snorkel at home.

18. When you hear someone say "underwater housing" and you think to yourself, "That would be a really cool lifestyle."

19. You got into diving to meet beautiful women.

20. You refer to the buttons on your inflator hose as the up and down buttons.

21. You think an important dive skill is landing on your feet when you get to the bottom.

22. You just puked in the camera bucket.